Fall with a small dose of apple yumminess

Today the girls and I are baking and crockpotting up a storm! Applesauce is always a must have around the house in the winter. It makes my zuccini bread and banana bread very moist! Plus, making it ourselves I get to add in whatever I want to along with controlling the sugar. The girls helped me peel all those apples!







Apple Pie Filling was my "job" this morning. After the applesauce was in the crockpot, I sent the girls on their dress up way to play while I got this done. Surely, canning apple pie filling would be a breeze. Whenever that little thought goes across my head, I should just stop what I am doing, grab a chocolate bar, and go sit down. It was not a breeze and ended up taking about an hour longer than I thought it would. But with frustration comes learning. I know to cut the apples into chunks, not slices. I used pint jars since it makes the perfect crisp in little ramekins. Cutting the apples into chunks makes packing so much easier. Plus I thinned the syrup I made just a tad because it was just sitting on top of the apples and not going into the jar. Again, lessons learned!! But didn't it turn out pretty :


I can't wait to try it!!

Apple Muffins are my last goal today. As soon as the Barney music stops, the screaming naps will start, and I can get to those :). I figured with the way the day is going, I should wait until the girls are down to start them.

I have mentioned before that I love fall. Here are some of my favorite sights around my house:







Hello Beautiful!!

Here is my latest project: my new purse. I am doing a little at a time but am hoping to get it done tonight....ok maybe by next week ;).

Isn't fabric lovely!!

Tomorrow I will be sharing a recipe post from our meal tonight: Beer Braised Beef with Fennel Gratin and Spinach Salad. All of these are new recipes from Pioneer Women and Rachel Ray. Yummy!!

Back to Normal

If the past few days have been my retreat, having only one toddler to chase after, then today I was back to work. Ella came home today. And although she is not to blame, I am wishing I could seperate my two daughters permantly. 

The two were more than happy to run and hug each other at Panera this morning. "Hi Lala" was heard by all enjoying their quiet breakfast this morning. And while mom and I enjoyed our breakfast the two girls were getting to know each other again and playing in the comfy chairs. But that all ended quickly as we walked to the car. I am not quite sure what set Kyndall off, but it was something big in her eyes. And it seemed from that point on life was over for my baby. Her sister was home and crying was her only way to get anyone's attention. Except that didn't work either so maybe screaming would. 

It was a ruthless day of lots of car rides (maybe not the best day to plan a lunch date with daddy) with no time to play at home before nap time. And with daddy working late tonight and football practice my ruthless day dragged on into the night. When daddy did arrive home he was handed two books and two very cranky girls. Who I believe are still awake at this time.

I know in time my girls will be one with each other and will have a grand time playing together but right now, the tension is driving us all a little crazy. I am going to try this next week to do lots of playing with them to model that correct behavior, in pure hopes that it will rub off a little. Just a little will be better than what it is now. 

I did however get cherry preserves made today and some yummy tomato sauce for this winter to throw into chili or spaghetti or lasagna. Add that to my apple butter and previously made peach and blueberry preserves, I am close to being ready for winter. I am making applesauce tomorrow and fully expect my girls to be in the kitchen with me helping me. I even have a plan on how were going to work together. 

I did enjoy thinking of those 3 things this morning of what I love about my kids. I even did it with my hubby. I am thinking I should write those down somewhere. Wouldn't you love it if you found those types of things that your mom or dad said about you? I think they would. Maybe I will do it on their blog. 

It's off to bed I go, mentally preparing for a day of baking and playing!!

Gotta love days like today!

What a great day today. Between Starbucks this morning, MOPS following that, Trader Joes first time visit, and home to snuggle with Kyndall: I tell ya' it was a good day. Today at MOPS we had a parent coach talk to us about Love and Logic. Lots of reminders for me and I can't wait to put them to good use here with the kids. Kyndall and I headed on over to Trader Joes where we shopped and bought some goodies for the rest of the fam. The weather here has been simply amazing. Cool weather with the smell of fall and visions of pumpkins everywhere!!

We are picking up Ella tomorrow and I know we all are ready to have her energy back in the house. It has been great fun to have Kyndall alone but it has reminded me that I have very little time left with Ella at home. She will be starting kindergarten in less than a year. I have a few more clothing orders to finish up this week and then it is all about the girls. I am doing lesson planning this weekend and getting myself all sorts of organized. I even got a jump start and organized my pantry, including the snacks. I am super excited about all the ideas I have in my head. I know one thing I will be making this weekend is a puppet theater that you can hang in the doorway. Ugh, I just can't wait!!
One of the tricks that the lovely parenting coach told us to try was to think of 3 things about each of your kids before you even see them in the morning. I am going to try this for a week and see how it goes.

 I had a great time with my kids and my family today/tonight at dinner, sometimes I need reminders that life is peaceful. My time with Kyndall and my MOPS table ladies was fantastic. I believe this is all because my tension is down and I am happy to be where I am right now. I was reminded today that my home is my mission field. I am where I should be surrounded by those that need me as much as I need them. God has put me right here, for this very reason. I am so thankful he has.

Oh how I hate being sick

Many viruses and bacteria's have made their way through our house over the past two weeks. Just to quickly list them : strep, bronchitis, stomach virus, sinus infection, and pneumonia. It has been crazy around this house. And when my body could no longer clean, sanitize, wash, and keep up with the massive amounts of laundry, it gave in to the sickness as well. And as we all know, when momma's get sick, life still continues. I have a hard time letting go of the control and I have an even harder time asking for help. My lovely husband is slowly figuring this out and learning how to help me without me having to ask. Even though he was staying home because of his sickness, he took care of the kids so I could sleep. And when I mean sleep, I mean all day. I don't know when the last time was that I did that or even wanted to do that. I credit that day of total rest to my 3 day sinus infection instead of 5-6 day one I usually have. It was great.
We are all on the mend, I hope. I am ready to get my house back in order. Laundry being done and the house being clean is no longer a dream, it is my week reality. And with my middle kiddo spending some much needed time with my parents, I know I can get a lot done.

I am really looking forward to spending a week with my youngest, all by herself. Already, she is showing us sides to her that we haven't seen. I love all of my kids and our house just isn't the same with ALL of them here. But I also do cherish those moments that I have with the kids when they are by themselves. These moments are dear to me and I know they are dear to them.

Our plan is to visit the parks, a few new grocery stores that I don't dare visit with both of the girls (hello Trader Joes), and lots of play time outside enjoying the fall weather. We enjoyed the weather today as a family. We went apple picking and man was it just gorgeous. Love this time of year!!








I will be turning those lovely red beauties into apple butter, apple pie filling, and some yummy homemade applesauce. I can't wait. I think I might need to go back next weekend to get more!!

I am hoping to get more crafts done this week and finally finish my Halloween purse, I started it two weeks ago. Happy Sunday!

Identity Crisis

Today was my first day of MOPS. For those of you that don't know, MOPS stands for Mothers Of PreSchoolers. It is basically two hours that moms get together for every other week to empower each other, support each other, and do what women do best : craft and talk. I had a great time and I am super excited to see what comes of this new adventure with some new moms. But to say this is an adventure might surprise some. That is precisely what it is. I headed out this morning with tons of anxiety about this meeting. How would the girls react to being let off at a "nursery" or "preschool"? How am I going to make new friends when I know NO ONE at this meeting? How would I fit in? How would the girls do during those 2 hours?

To say it started off shaky would be an understatement. Running a little later than I had hoped, seeing I had a little red NO GAS light blinking in the van as we pulled out of the driveway, and taking what was probably the longest way to get to the church where the meetings are held was only the beginning. Kyndall did fantastic being let off at her classroom...not even a goodbye. Ella on the other hand was less than thrilled. Tears were coming down as I left the room. I know this is good for her but it kills me to see her cry and to know she is crying because she is scared is even worse. I got myself checked in and found my new table of friends. I had a great time getting to know these women that were at my table and listening to many others that were around the room. During the many speeches about being on time and when it was our turn as a table to bring brunch and snacks, I heard her talk about how each time she becomes a mom she has a bit of an identity crisis. When I heard those words, I couldn't stop thinking about those two words. Identity crisis....that is what I am going through....exactly....identity crisis. I have never tried to put words to what I am going through. I know I am not alone and I know that this too shall pass, but it was nice to hear someone else speak those words.

Who am I? Why am I here? And by here I mean here right here in the middle of our country in this house with these kiddos? Yes, God put me here or led me here and wants me here, but who am I? I have often struggled with this idea ever since I was little. For reason that are only for me to contemplate, I wondered where I fit in or who I was. This feeling had gone away when I met my first husband. I fit in with him and he became who I was. After some time, this became clear that I was wrong and this thought was completely unhealthy. I lost what little there was of me in him and when I lost him, I lost me. I began to rebuild myself through my work and my son. With the help of a couple of my most precious friends and family, I rebuilt my broken world and my broken self. I feel that I have come so far since those times, but still that question forever lingers : who am I?
I feel as if today's meeting was a way for me to start again with a part of my life that feels broken, my friendships. I have had friends come and go throughout my whole life. I look at facebook and see the relationships that many of my highschool friends have with each other still and wonder why I don't have that. The same goes for some of those people I know in my life. I look at the friendships that they have and wonder what it would be like to have that. I am thankful for those friends that I have including one that is incrediably too far away. But in general around this town, I have very little friends. And this word takes on different meanings for different people. I guess defining what it means to me would be the first step in finding what I am wanting. At any rate, I was starting to feel rather alone and like I was meant to live this way. So MOPS is my way of reaching out to try and build those relationships that are necessary to survive as a woman. And so far, the outlook is good.

I know that with an identity crisis, I have to look from within and I am doing plenty of that, trust me. But I am hoping these other moms can reassure me that I will find myself and figure out the question of who I am soon. There are many other sides to this identity crisis and many other areas that I need to weed through such as what does being a mom look like to me and what does being a good wife mean? But for today and tonight, I focus on this. Friends.

What about you, have you gone through or are you going through an identity crisis?

Juice Detox Day One

Learning that I had arthritis in my knee was a life changing moment for me in lots of ways. This is the first symptom I have had that proves without a shadow of doubt that I am aging. I am slowly getting old just like everyone else on this Earth. This is contrary to my previous belief that I would stay young forever. The diagnoses also confirmed to me that losing weight and becoming a more healthy role model was now a must. My body needs me to get more healthy and in turn so does my family. In order for me to stick around as long as I want to on this beautiful planet, I must start feeding my body exactly what it needs and not so much of what I want. For the next 10 days, I am doing a juice detox with my hubby. Only fruits and veggies all day long. I am kind of excited to see how this all plays out over the next ten days. I am interested to see what day I reach the breaking point and interested to see how well I can feel.  I am interested to see how my body changes and if I lose any weight. I am interested to see how much Ryan changes. 

Today started with a beet and apple juice. It was quite tasty regardless of what it sounds like. I have never had beets, fresh from the ground. They are one beautiful veggie! The red/purple color they hide with that brown skin is just gorgeous. Something that pretty on the inside can only make my insides look even better. Then I went on to a veggie drink of sorts. Rather gross. I am learning which veggies have stronger tastes. Looking forward to  a fruity juice for snack and  another veggie drink (more like a drinkable soup) for dinner tonight. I think I can do this. I have covered all of my "if I need a snack what can I have" basis. Salty snack: edamame. Sweet snack : pulverized frozen bananas with a little bit of nutella or cocoa powder. Don't knock this desert until you try it. The frozen bananas turn into this soft serve like ice cream. It is quite addicting and the kids LOVE it. 

As soon as the 10 days are over we are going to take a look at what we want to do next and how our body feels on this detox. We know we can't continue this and we don't want to just drink our meals all day long. But there are several ideas we have for how we can continue our new lifestyle change. I will be trying to blog here and there about this detox. Wish us luck!!